I'm conflicted about the new Madonna release. I really don't want to be ageist, or push on to her expectations of what someone in their fifties should be doing, or how they should be dressing, but its hard when you watch the new video for, or indeed just hear, the new single, Give Me All Your Luvin. In fact, scratch that. On second viewing its not that I take issue with the skimpy clothing or the suggesting dancing, because I actually don't. Its more the immaturity of the whole thing that gets to me. From the obnoxious cheerleader chants of the music itself, to the faux breastfeeding and discarding of a doll, it just all feels extremely tacky.
Ignoring the tackiness, the video is kinda cute, but nothing real special or epic. Its just a fun little romp with Madonna strutting around with a rabble of American football players helping her on her way through various scenarios. Scenarios including protecting her from bullets, by diving in front of them no less, letting her walk all over them, literally, and helping her into a window by forming a human pyramid of sorts for her to climb- I wonder if she found any more babies to throw about when she got into the building.
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At the end of the video its revealed, via decapitation by baseball bat (wait, isn't the theme supposed to be American football ?) that the jocks aren't actually human, but are robots, so don't feel bad about the hardships they endured for Madonna. I'm not sure if there is some social commentary or deep meaning behind the robots, the cheerleaders with the masks, or the opening text, but frankly I don't want to waste any energy trying to decipher it, because she clearly didn't expel much creating it. My immediate thoughts are she is being snarky towards the Super Bowl, but that wouldn't make sense would it? Madonna is the queen of being shady though, so who knows.
As for the song itself, my opinions haven't changed from this brief summation, but now there are at least two good points now: M.I.A and Nicki Minaj. For the minuscule amount of time they feature they bring some life , energy and contrasting savoury flavour to the sweetness of the Martin Solveig production and Madonna's flat delivery. Other than them, the song is utterly forgettable.
Give Me All Your Luvin is like a reject track from the Music album, or more precisely, a cheap knock off of 1999's hit, Beautiful stranger, that has been brought clumsily and cynically into the present with the mandatory dubstep insertion. What happened to the Madonna that led and didn't follow! Does she even care any more? At least the juvenile cheerleader chants make sense within the context of it being the 2012 Super Bowl where Give Me All Your Luvin gets its first live performance, but it's still a pretty poor and limp comeback single for the supposed Queen of Pop.
Song Rating: D
Video Rating: C+
